Bite Me: A Stranger Things Story (Free)

As promised, one man-wolf (not wolf-man), free for your viewing pleasure.

It’s hard not to be resentful when someone comes along and takes everything over, and Billy has had enough. Just because someone saved your life doesn’t mean they own it.

Set between Time Heals and the unpublished Death Knell, this story focuses on Billy the man-wolf (not wolf-man) and his uneasy relationship with Noth, the young hellhound with whom he must now share all that’s dear to him.

BiteMeST

Bite Me: A Stranger Things Story
(Note: This story is only available in PDF format for the foreseeable future. If you would like another format, I’m sorry. You’ll have to make do.)

Here is the promised story I wrote for the Dina Wants A Shiny Thing “fundraiser.” I put “fundraiser” in quotation marks because this isn’t really about raising funds. Raising funds is a side effect of this story. Why a side effect?

Because it’s completely up to you to toss some pennies my way for this story.

This story is for you. Absolutely and totally free. Go on. Open it. Download it. Save a copy to your hard drive for your reading pleasure. All I ask is that you not upload it to pirate sites/torrent it. Why not? Because pirates are assholes and THIS IS ALREADY HERE FOR FREE. Also, you can’t upload the “donate” button to a torrent site, and it’s right here on this page with the story for everyone to see. Pirates don’t pay for things. Because they’re pirates. You get it. However, if you want to sacrifice your daily latte to the Shiny Thing fund today, I’d be appreciative.

Now, I’m not going to suggest an amount – I’m going to leave that up to you. I would remind you that the average price of an entire paperback novel is somewhere around $8.00US while a hardcover runs about $25.00US, and this is a short story. This is maybe a tenth of a novel here. When I talk about donating pennies, that’s exactly what I mean. However, your pennies are exactly that – yours. I’m not going to tell you how to spend them.

Here’s the button to do that:

Now, what’s the shiny thing I want? This. I want this:

Image by Design Toscano

Image by Design Toscano

You expected it to be yarn, didn’t you? I can understand that. Tell you what. If this little story makes enough, I’ll get the statue AND some yarn. Hell, I may go wild and buy yarn AND tea with my newfound riches. You never know what no-goodness I’ll get up to with cash in hand.

But I don’t expect something for nothing, so here’s your story. If you want to read it before you dig through the couch cushions for loose change (no old M&Ms, please – they are not accepted currency in my country. Don’t ask how I know this.), go right ahead. This story is free to everyone. Should you decide at some point that you wish to fund the Shiny Thing, click on the “donate” button you see up there and put a few coins in my tip jar. And hey, if you can’t or don’t want to fund the shiny, that’s cool. The story is there for you to read for free.

When the shiny thing comes, I will remove the donate link and print out every donor’s name on a sticker and affix it to the bottom of the statue, so that I will always remember those who made it possible. It will rest in a place of honor by my desk and inspire me to write more.

Thank you all in advance for your pennies. I very much appreciate each and every one of you.

Something Shiny This Way Comes

So, remember this post from last year where I talk about how Dina Wants A Shiny Thing and I did a poll to see if there was any interest in a Billy short?

Yeah, that.

Well, stuff and things happened, and the short got pushed to the side, and more stuff and things happened, and now, well….

Let’s just say Something Shiny is on the way. I don’t have an exact date yet, but it shouldn’t be long now!

Why am I posting this here?

Because I feed on your sweet, sweet torment, that’s why!

The De-Gothening Part Six

No, really. “Six” in French is spelled exactly the same as it is in English, only it’s pronounced “sees.” So this is part six.

Click their names to see parts Un, Deux, Trois, Quatre, and Cinq. You can also click on the “adventures in remodeling” tag to see the collection of horrors on the same page. Also why I label these posts in French.

Got all that? Onward to Part Six, then! Continue reading

A Reward and A Dare

I was updating the perks at the Evil For Julie fundraisers. I saw the numbers.

Dean Holy Shit Eyes

$3330 [ETA April 16 – $3425] for the Writer Edition.

$6705 [ETA April 16 – $7545] for the Reader Edition.

If my math is correct (and unlike Tony Stark’s, it usually isn’t, but I digress), that puts us at $10,035 $10,970 for both campaigns.

You know, when we were pulling this together and deciding on a target number for our goal, I made the comment that if we raised $10,000, I would make a video of me dancing like a freak (I can’t dance…no, really, I can’t. I just wiggle my butt and flail my arms.) at various Oregon Coastal landmarks within driving distance of me.

I said it sarcastically. Because, you know…$10,000? Yeah, right. We’d be lucky to make half that, but we decided to go for it anyway. $5000 was lofty. $10,000 was laughable.

Sarcasm or no, I said it, in front of witnesses. As such, the video will get made. It will be finished and uploaded sometime in May, after all this is over.

Just so you know, I made another comment about our fundraiser goals, and this one is on the Internet, WHICH IS FOREVER.

The price? $50,000. The perk? I will karaoke Wilson Phillips’ “Hold On,” get it on film, and post it to the Internet.

Try reaching that one, evildoers. I DARE YOU.

buffy-come-at-me-bro

ETA: Upon conferring with my enablers, I have agreed to do the same with Air Supply’s “All Out of Love” at the $25,000 mark. Because Dean Winchester. BRING IT.

The Power of the Dark Side

YEAH, BABY! That is what I am talking about!

Shamelessly ripping off this awesome post made by our Bitchstress Dreamkiller over at the Evil League of Evil Writers blog:

“YOU GUYS, YOU GUYS…FOUR DAYS AND FULLY FUNDED.

Yes, you read that right. Just four days into the Evil for Julie campaign, and both the reader and writer editions are entirely funded. As of writing this:

Reader Edition: $6085 (of a $3500 goal)

Writer Edition: $2275 (of a $1500 goal)

That’s $8360 total. [ETA: UPDATE – Now $8440!]

Loki thumbs up

On behalf of the Evil League of Evil Writers:

THANK YOU

$5000 was our initial goal because that was what we raised last year for Crestline with our Evil Auction. To surpass that in just a couple of days is tremendous, and everything, minus the Indiegogo/PayPal fees, go directly to Julie and her family at the end of the month.

Of course, we shall not stop there. No, because we have TONS of other perks here to list and twenty-six more days to raise some more cash.

Please head over to the campaigns to have a look at the new additions and stay tuned for more in the coming weeks.

Thank you again to everyone sharing, linking, buying, donating, and supporting this endeavor. Vader says, “If you only knew the power of the dark side.” For anyone paying attention, I’d say you guys know. Excellent villainous work, everyone.”

I just have to add:

LOki Yeah

Make It Rain

NOTE: THIS IS NOT AN APRIL FOOL’S DAY PRANK. THIS IS A REAL THING. PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE COINCIDENTAL DATE. Today is also the anniversary of the Evil League of Evil Writers. Long story. Read on.

BEHOLD! IT HAS BEGUN! EVIL FOR JULIE LIVES!

evilforjulie-writer

evilforjulie-reader

(We’re having some minor issues getting the Paypal account accepted, but we’ll deal with that in the morning. For right now, it’s credit cards. No worries! We have the whole month!) We’re good now! Carry on!

I’m going to shamelessly copy and paste from the Indiegogo Campaign Description here:

Why We Need Your Evil Help
On Sunday March 23, Julie Butcher’s husband had an accident around the home involving a chainsaw and his leg a grizzly bear that he fought off with his bare hands*.

Mr. Julie is, thankfully, fine. But this is a family with six kids now facing skyrocketing medical costs. Costs WE can help with. If everyone gives a little, it can add up to a lot. This, obviously, seems like a job for the Evil League of Evil Writers to do some fundraising.

*It was a chainsaw but apparently fighting grizzly bears sounds less embarrassing.

What We Need & What You Get
In a nutshell, we need money.

Well, Julie and her mister do: he’s already had a couple of surgeries, and a nurse is required for home visits to help. End of the world insurance is covering some costs but not all, and this is a very large family facing a sudden influx of extra expenses.

We at the Evil League of Evil Writers aren’t big on handouts; we want your assistance, but we want to offer you stuff in exchange for it.

Note: There are two campaigns – the Reader Edition and the Writer Edition. Each has different perks based on if something would apply to a reader or a writer. Because if you’re not a writer, what would you do with a 50 page critique of a manuscript? I mean, there’s no stopping you from donating for that perk if that’s what you want to do, but…hey, your eccentricities are your business!

All of the money–less the fees from Indiegogo and PayPal–go directly to Julie and her family, and will help with medical and living costs during this difficult time. We picked $3500 as a goal for the reader campaign and $1500 for the other to hit $5000 total as that was what we managed to raise for last year’s fundraiser, but it is in no way final. If more comes in, all will be able to be put to use by the family.

Who Is Julie?
Julie Butcher lives with her husband and six children on the fringes of Utter Chaos. The sister of #1 New York Times bestselling author Jim Butcher, who she adores, she writes because her sister-in-law said it was time to learn, and Julie doesn’t argue with women who own guns. Her super-powers involve sugar and ninjas and will be revealed on a need-to-know basis.

She is a contributor to BuzzyMag.com and huge supporter of the writing community. When not writing, she’s inspiring others by volunteering at a local food pantry.

Seriously, you guys, Julie is so much more awesome than the rest of us, but now is your chance to be almost as cool yourself and help out.

What’s This About Evil?
This fundraiser was started by the Evil League of Evil Writers to support our beloved Senior Pie Coordinator and Clubhouse Keeper during a time of need. It is our second large-scale fundraiser as a group, the previous being 2013’s Evil for Crestline Auction.
Everything we do is evil, including online fundraising.

Aren’t Charitable Endeavors Inherently Good?
Of course not. Have you MET Julie Butcher? The woman is capable of the most terrifying Scary Mom Eyes known to humankind. She is pure evil, and the less she worries about money right now, the more time she has to continue terrorizing writers with her eviltry.

Also, by supporting Julie’s family, it might make them cry happy tears. Making people cry is of course evil.

As a friend said, when the universe kicks one of us, we kick back twice as hard. And we invite you to be bad guys and kick back with us.

Other Ways You Can Help
If you can’t give money, and robbing a bank is still illegal where you live, please help get the word out the fundraiser. Tweet, Pin, Facebook, Tumbl, blog, skywrite, sacrifice virgins to the dark ones in order to boost the campaign power: whatever it takes.

ABOUT THE PERKS:
The response to this fundraiser has been beyond our wildest expectations, with over 100 donations and counting. Indiegogo only allows us to offer twenty at a time, so don’t be surprised if you don’t see yours offered. Once a perk is taken, we’ll replace it with another. This fundraiser is going throughout the month of April, so it might be a little bit before it’s up for grabs. Stay tuned!

You can also follow the Evil League of Evil Writers for updates on the campaign. We’ll be talking about it a lot during the next month, as these campaigns go through the 30th:

Blog (Here’s an awesome page about the fundraisers)
Twitter (we’ll be using the hashtag #evilforjulie if you want to follow that)
Facebook

So there you have it! Now go! Go and be evil! Bring the pain! Make it rain with their tears! BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!

evil laugh gif Tom

Sithmastime Is Here!

Well, almost.

Close enough, anyway!

I thought I’d share a something with you before next week comes and bashes us over the head with a roll of wrapping paper. (‘Cause that’s gonna happen…it’s comin’ right for us!)

Here. Have my mother’s fudge recipe! I posted it a few years ago (2009? Seriously? Wow…), but I thought you might like it again, seeing as how I just made a couple batches over the weekend. Mostly I just wanted to taunt you with holiday cookery. And what do you know? There’s still time for you to make a batch or two yourself before Sithmas arrives!

This recipe was given to my mother sometime before I was born, and if I’m not mistaken, it comes from Good Housekeeping magazine circa 1970-something. No matter when or where it came from, it’s been altered by this family member and that, and passed down to me. I make it yearly, and I’m warning you now – a little dab’ll do ya!

Without further ado, I give you:

Mom’s Fudge

You will need:

1 buttered cake pan (I like the 9″x13″ size)
1 pkg (12 oz) semi-sweet chocolate chips (or whatever – butterscotch chips, white chocolate chips)
7 ½ oz marshmallow crème (1 small jar or ½ large jar)
1 can (12 oz) EVAPORATED milk (*NOT* condensed!!)
1 stick of butter or margarine (I like butter best.)
4 ½ cups sugar
1 tbsp pure vanilla extract
1 cup nuts if desired (walnuts are best)

Instructions:

Combine sugar, milk, & butter in large pot. While stirring constantly, bring to a FULL, BUBBLING boil.

BOIL for 8 minutes, stirring constantly,. (This is important, or your candy won’t set.)

(Are you getting the STIR CONSTANTLY part? Good.)

Remove from heat after 8 minutes.

Stir in chips, marshmallow crème, & vanilla (nuts as well if you’re using them).

Stir well, then pour into buttered pan.

Cool and cut into SMALL squares (believe me, it will be plenty!).

Makes 5 lbs.

There you go! Mom’s Fudge recipe. Pass it on!

That’s all I have for you today. Enjoy!

Goodbye, August

I will not miss you, oh final month of summer!

GLEE.

GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE.

I am filled with EVIL GLEE!

For many reasons, not the least of which is that it is the final day of August. Summer here is officially nearing its end, and I am ready to trade the Southern Hemisphere back for winter now. SEPTEMBER APPROACHETH AND I AM FILLED WITH GLEE!

GLEE I SAY!

Also, those who follow me on Twitter will know this already, but for those who just do the blog thing, I will reiterate here:

Today, this morning, our months of self-restraint and budgeting came to fruition. This morning, tickets to Scotland arrived. With my name on them.

It’s real. It’s really real. #ForScotland is REAL. #YarnEmbargo has been worth it!

Now, this does not mean we can let up on the budget or let our self-restraint run amok. Oh, no. No, if anything, we need to double-down. Just because the big huge part is out of the way doesn’t mean we can ease up. There are still things that need saving for, like animal care costs and actual money to buy the yarn in Scotland I have been excellent about not buying ALL YEAR LONG. I have made it over NINE months without buying yarn (that was paid for by me, anyway…gift cards don’t count, and neither does yarn gifted to me by wonderful people who have kept me sane with fiber these long, long months…), and I don’t intend to start now. We still need money to eat on over there, so the tickets that came today don’t mean that we’ve reached our goal. Oh, no. We’ve overcome the first hurdle, that’s all.

But it’s really REAL now. Like, for realsies real! This is happening. We’re going. I am in awe. I truly didn’t think we’d make it this far, but we have.

*sits in awe a while longer*

Okay! Yeah! So that’s happening!

Other things that are happening:

My friend Lilith Saintcrow has an awesome fundraiser up for an equally awesome book about the squirrels that terrorize her. No, I’m serious! Go watch the vid and throw money at her. DO IT NOW. http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/squirrelterror

Also, remember when I blogged about my local theater needing help? Well, they reached their goal (thank you on behalf of me to all of you that contributed, or wanted to, or boosted the signal, or however you helped – thank you!), and any extra they’re given will go to other things they could use. If you have a few pennies to spare that you haven’t tossed at Lili up there, consider putting them in the Columbian’s jar, won’t you? They’d appreciate it (as would I – Despicable Me 2 is playing now and I haven’t seen it yet – what? DON’T JUDGE ME. I’m making Gru’s scarf! FOR MYSELF. BECAUSE REASONS.).

That’s all I have for you right now. There is more eviltry afoot I’ll update you on later, that involves more shiny things. Stay tuned!

ETA: This was just brought to my attention. Writer P.N. Elrod is offering shiny things from her personal collection of shiny to raise money to pay down a four-figure vet bill. Go take a look and see what there is to see, and if you find any more of those pennies in the couch cushions, a few tossed her way wouldn’t go amiss.

Shiny Evil

Just a quick little post to let you all know I’m still blogging every other Monday at the Evil League of Evil Writers. I’ve been doing a series of posts called “Ask Dr. Dina” that cover various medical things you should keep in mind when writing. (Things like what really happens when your character gets knocked unconscious that you need to be aware of if you’re going to write realistic fight scenes.)

Today I’m talking about burns, and a regular reader and fan of eviltry is offering a SHINY THING in the comments! Check it out!

Time Heals Blog Tour Day 2

Whoo hooo! Tuesday!

Today is the second day of the blog tour, and have I got some stuff for you!

First, tomorrow is a big day on the tour. I’m going to be over at Bitten By Books and there will be shiny things. BUT! In order to get those shiny things, you have to go do stuff and things, and one of those things that will help you win the shiny is going here to RSVP for the Launch Party tomorrow. Go on! Go on then! I’ll wait right here.

Back? Okay, good. Because there’s more!

Mel at My World in Words and Pages is spoiling me (okay, you!) again with a wonderful giveaway and a snippet of the book on her Teaser Tuesday today.

The wonderful Jennifer (who put all this evil together – thank you again, Jennifer) at Books Make Me Happy Reviews has a review up today AND more shiny things, so go check out the post and see what’s there!

Stay tuned, because there’s more tomorrow!