Midsummer Update

I am alive. I have survived the transition to the new Lair of Doom. It was a harrowing experience and things are still raw and new, but with time everyone will adjust and things will become as normal and routine as they were in the previous lair.

Upheaval takes a lot of effort, and the only way the chaos is going to get sorted is if I work on it every day as I did in preparation for relocation.

I am still living for September. Though the new lair is much quieter, there are still neighbors with shrieklings about, and they have yet to learn their place when it comes to interacting with my household. Apparently the people who lived in this house before us were permissive when it came to certain things (such as the shrieklings showing up at the door whenever they feel like it to “play with your cat/dog” – they have not yet grasped that my animals do not “play” or interact with small humans, and actually prefer to inflict harm, much like their caretaker) and have yet to grasp that We Are Not Them.

They will learn.

im-stabbing-you-in-my-mind

Soon it will be September, and they will all have better things to do than annoy me. I realize they are immature humans and it is summer and They Are Bored and there’s Something New And Shiny for them to investigate, but the sooner they learn that Some Things Are Best Left Alone, the better. (Don’t get me started on Where Is Your Parent? in all of this. It’s a long story with that household that I have gathered from other neighbors and the community in bits and pieces. I still think it’s odd that the Parents don’t seem to care if their child goes to a random stranger’s house and asks to be let in. This is not going to end well someday for those children.) Shriekling Neighbors also let their animals run amok and it drives Pup insane. It’s a process that is slowly improving. The Male Parent has already made attempts to keep his menagerie out of our presence. Soon the Shrieklings will come to understand that Dina’s House is Not A Place To Play. (AKA “Don’t Bother That Lady She’s Mean,” and “You Kids Stay Off My Lawn.”)

Sam SPN Butthurt

It’s been nearly a month now since the Upheaval, and Little Broken Cat is the lone holdout when it comes to exploring the new digs. She is slow and tentative about it, but she’s progressing. I think the New And Big is a bit too much for her, being small and broken. She’ll get there.

Speaking of Little Broken Cat, she’s come into the office just now and is sitting beside my chair as I write this. While not up in my lap like normal*, this is still major progress, people. Now all we have to do is get her to cross the living room and come into the kitchen to eat with everyone else.

How many weeks left until September? Six? THAT’S SO MANY!

Tom Hiddleston Rage Rant

*ETA: We have Little Broken Cat in the lap, confirmed. Repeat, we have Little Broken Cat in the lap.

It’s That Time

You know what time it is. It’s that time. Time for me to hide from the tourists go to ground for the next few months.

SPN You Are Dead

I’m starting earlier than usual this year because I have a lot going on. The DeGothening has proven fruitful and we have taken the first steps toward acquiring a new Lair. This is but the first of many things on the horizon for the James Household, so I will be taking a hiatus from most things virtual for the summer.

I should more-or-less regularly return in September or thereabouts. There might be the odd post here and there during the next few months, but don’t count on me. I will likely give a shout when things are put together at the theoretical new office.

Until then, behave. The bail fund has been redistributed for the time being.

Tom Hiddleston Please Behave

Five Evil Years – NOT APRIL FOOL’S

ELEW_logo

So yes. April 1 is by far the most evil day of the year, but it being the anniversary of the Evil League of Evil Writers was (almost) entirely coincidental. April just happened to be the closest upcoming month back when we were going public with the Evil League of Evil Writers, and what better day to celebrate eviltry than the day of trickery itself?

Loki Oh Yes

I realize this does come with the side effect of our celebratory posts being sometimes taken as April Fool’s pranks, but that’s not our problem. Evil does not care if you believe in it or not.

Having said that, five years of mayhem deserves special recognition, and today we have the honor of hosting a dark lord. No, really. Go and read the interview for yourself. There’s a giveaway included! (Spoiler Alert: It’s JIM BUTCHER! No foolin’!)

Speaking of giveaways, five years is a big deal, and we’re celebrating in style. There are fantastic gift packages with all sorts of shinies in them, including some things that are specific to giveaways. That is, you won’t see them anywhere for sale – the only way to get them is to win them. Books! Gift cards! More books! Click on the pic to see what’s up for grabs and enter!

Giveaway Pic

The Light Returneth

And with it, my hibernation looms.

It’s going to be April here in a few days, you guys. APRIL. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? It means tourists and light and all kinds of shit I really, really don’t want to deal with.

Tom Hiddleston You Have No Idea What It Does To Me

It means I will go to ground soon and wait for September to return once more. I really need to become a reverse snowbird and go south for the summer like the ski-people do. I need a “summer home” in New Zealand or Chile or somewhere so I can escape the hot season and everything it brings with it. I never want to know a day that’s over 60 degrees. (15.5 for you Celsius people)

Until then, I’ll have to content myself with my dark curtains and air conditioning to get me through the bright days ahead.

I have been convinced to make one public appearance before I withdraw from the evil daystar for the next six months. Special thanks to author K.L. Bone for her kind invitation to join her for booze and books at a local vineyard on April 2.

SPN Sam Books Without Pics

Bethany Vineyards of Ridgefield, Washington, is hosting the second annual Words on the Vine book signing on Saturday April 2nd at 2:00PM, and I’ll be there along with her and a few other authors.

Bethany Vineyards
4115 NE 259th St. Ridgefield, WA

Other attending authors are:
USA Today Bestselling Author Sarah M. Cradit
NY Times Bestselling Author Brandy L. Rivers
Pacific Northwest poet Shane Chase
Special Guest Greg Wilkey
Blythe Ayne

There will be some special shinies available at this event that are exclusive to signings and giveaways. That is, they are not available (nor will they ever be) for retail sale, so I hope to see you there.

Despite what it says on some of the promotional materials, I have respectfully declined to read from my work at this event. It will be a signing only for me, but there will be plenty of excerpts being read by the other authors there if you’re into that kind of thing.

Come join me in bidding farewell to the light!

Crow Pets Cat

Foundations of Stone

I admit it. I took the title of this post from a random song on my Pandora station, because believe it or not, I suck at titles. It’s true. I’m a writer and I suck at titles. We all have our burdens, and that’s one of mine.

It’s not the only one I’ve been chosen to bear, either. More on that in a minute. I’m going to cut here for those who might not want to read this, as it’s personal and highly sensitive in nature. There are things in this post that might be difficult for the more sensitive amongst you to read, so if that’s you and you want to read on, you’ve been warned. Put on your Big Person Underthings and cope. Here we go. Continue reading

New Year, More Vampires

It’s 2016. It’s also halfway through January, which means your New Year’s resolutions should be wearing a bit thin by now. Well, I’m here to help those of you who resolved to read more books, and those who wanted to add more vampires to their life.

You all know I’ve given into peer pressure (translation: “Skyla made me do it.”) AND how I feel about self-publishing. However, in response to those wishing to purchase my work, I have agreed to offer my previously-published short stories for sale in a new format. (I justify doing this by telling myself and being assured by others that it’s not really self-publishing because these stories have been previously commercially published, so this is a re-release rather than self-publishing. GO WITH IT. I NEED TO BELIEVE THIS IN ORDER TO LIVE WITH MYSELF/THIS DECISION I FEEL SO DIRTY OH MY GOD.)

Anyway.

Here is the final volume of Legends of the Destrati (formerly published in the Mammoth anthologies and my Light In A Dark World collection, so if you’ve already read those stories, there’s nothing new for you here).

This volume features the last two stories, “Redemption” and “A Hope and a Prayer,” plus a bonus story, “Unmasked.” The shiny cover was done by the lovely tyrant enabler Skyla Dawn Cameron of Indigochick Designs, as was the formatting of all the necessary files. Because she rocks. Go use her for everything you need done digitally. She’s amazing and worth every penny.

That’s all the shiny I currently have planned. The year is young, though, and we all know how much I enjoy getting up to no good. For now, enjoy your 2016 with the beautiful and enigmatic Kyle.

Vampires For The Holidays

You all know I’ve given into peer pressure (translation: “Skyla made me do it.”) AND how I feel about self-publishing. However, in response to those wishing to purchase my work, I have agreed to offer my previously-published short stories for sale in a new format. (I justify doing this by telling myself and being assured by others that it’s not really self-publishing because these stories have been previously commercially published, so this is a re-release rather than self-publishing. GO WITH IT. I NEED TO BELIEVE THIS IN ORDER TO LIVE WITH MYSELF/THIS DECISION I FEEL SO DIRTY OH MY GOD.)

Anyway.

Here is the second of three planned volumes of Legends of the Destrati (formerly published in the Mammoth anthologies and my Light In A Dark World collection, so if you’ve already read those stories, there’s nothing new for you here).

This volume features the next two stories, “With Great Power” and “Deliver Us From Evil.” The shiny cover was done by the lovely tyrant enabler Skyla Dawn Cameron of Indigochick Designs, as was the formatting of all the necessary files. Because she rocks. Go use her for everything you need done digitally. She’s amazing and worth every penny.

So here you go. I’m not quite sure when the next one will be out, but probably right around the New Year. Plan, mind you. It might not work out that way. But here to kick off your December are some lovely, lovely vampires. You’re welcome.

Dina’s Holiday Rant 2015

Cups? Really? People are seriously upset about some imagined slight to their beliefs by a coffee chain’s holiday cups? SERIOUSLY? If you are one of these people, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM AND THE REASON WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS! Now, sit down! I’m going to beat some sense into you with this little thing I call a clue bat. (Okay, it’s not that little.)

There is no “War on Christmas.” There never has been, but every year people lose their tiny little minds over the holiday season. This year it started early with the stupid red cups. And, right on cue, the “keep Christ in Christmas” and “Jesus is the reason for the season” posts are out in full force (I found out earlier this year that a local bakery I do not, have not, and will not ever patronize keeps a sign to this effect up all year. Please see above about being part of the problem.), so even though it’s way earlier than I usually post this, it’s clearly time for Dina’s Holiday Rant. It wouldn’t be Sithmas if I didn’t rant about the holiday season, now would it?

This was originally written/posted December 5, 2009 on my Livejournal. It’s still applicable so I will shamelessly copy and paste, and update it to post again. This is apparently going to be an annual thing, this rant.

Read at your peril. Feel free to repost/forward with credit to me as the author. Continue reading

Trick or Treat!

I’ve spent the last few weeks brewing up this Halloween treat in my cauldron of doom, just for my mischievous readers. I’m not going to blurb what goes on in this story, because Halloween is about spooky surprises and scary monsters. And candy. And pumpkins.

Enjoy!

Click the pic below to download the PDF. (As this is a free story, this is the only format it’s going to be available in.)

TreatMeRigh-lg

Cover art and formatting done by the wonderfully talented IndigoChick Designs.