Latecomer

So, it’s FINALLY September again. You all should be fairly familiar with me and deep and abiding love for September by now. I know it’s the middle of the month right now, but that’s because we had a bit of a late start to fall this year, owing to summer not wanting to fuck the hell off. September won finally, and summer crawled back into the hole in which it belongs.

It’s blissful here now. The temperature is under 70F (21.1C) every single day (and dropping!) and it’s back to our typical Oregon weather out here on the coast. I’ve written about it before, but the true arrival of fall is glorious for me. I have more energy, more creativity, less hostility (okay, this one is relative – go with it)…fall is my least vengeful season.

Earlier this year someone pointed me to this article about reverse seasonal affective disorder (SAD) and honestly, it’s pretty spot on when it comes to how I feel about summer. Right around mid-March/beginning of April I start getting an uncomfortableness, and it just worsens until my beloved September returns. There are many, many reasons I loathe the warmer months, but reverse SAD would explain a lot of it. But all that’s over now for another six months or so.

Here are some links to things to kick off the end of my reverse hibernation:

My friend Valt is still in need of some help for his surgery! If you could sacrifice that (pumpkin spice!) latte today, that would rock.

The anthology I’m in with Skyla Dawn Cameron is now available in print! Clicky the linky to get the shiny!

Go forth and enjoy September!

Sacrifice Your Latte Please!

So my friend Valtinen (you may have heard me mention him before) is finally, after more than a decade, getting to be himself!

Me And Valt Terrorizing The Villagers

He needs a little help, though, and I know my friends and fans are awesome at helping people. Valt has come a long way in his personal journey, and this step is finally here. It’s amazing and I’m very happy this is happening for him.

But you don’t need to hear me talk about it. Go here and read his story for yourself!

Help Valt Get His Surgery!

Ebooks Sent

Hello, all!

Quick break in my summer hiatus to say that if you were a contributor to my veterinary bill fundraiser, your e-book ARC of Hauntings has been sent in PDF format.

Hauntings-kindle
Thank you again, very much, for those who contributed. If I owe you a hat, it’s in the process of being knit. I have 3 down, 9 more to go. Ya’ll kicked ass there. AND MADE ME KNIT WITH PINK YARN OMG. Sadists. *sniff* I’m so proud!

Torture Love

A Reward and A Dare

I was updating the perks at the Evil For Julie fundraisers. I saw the numbers.

Dean Holy Shit Eyes

$3330 [ETA April 16 – $3425] for the Writer Edition.

$6705 [ETA April 16 – $7545] for the Reader Edition.

If my math is correct (and unlike Tony Stark’s, it usually isn’t, but I digress), that puts us at $10,035 $10,970 for both campaigns.

You know, when we were pulling this together and deciding on a target number for our goal, I made the comment that if we raised $10,000, I would make a video of me dancing like a freak (I can’t dance…no, really, I can’t. I just wiggle my butt and flail my arms.) at various Oregon Coastal landmarks within driving distance of me.

I said it sarcastically. Because, you know…$10,000? Yeah, right. We’d be lucky to make half that, but we decided to go for it anyway. $5000 was lofty. $10,000 was laughable.

Sarcasm or no, I said it, in front of witnesses. As such, the video will get made. It will be finished and uploaded sometime in May, after all this is over.

Just so you know, I made another comment about our fundraiser goals, and this one is on the Internet, WHICH IS FOREVER.

The price? $50,000. The perk? I will karaoke Wilson Phillips’ “Hold On,” get it on film, and post it to the Internet.

Try reaching that one, evildoers. I DARE YOU.

buffy-come-at-me-bro

ETA: Upon conferring with my enablers, I have agreed to do the same with Air Supply’s “All Out of Love” at the $25,000 mark. Because Dean Winchester. BRING IT.

Make It Rain

NOTE: THIS IS NOT AN APRIL FOOL’S DAY PRANK. THIS IS A REAL THING. PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE COINCIDENTAL DATE. Today is also the anniversary of the Evil League of Evil Writers. Long story. Read on.

BEHOLD! IT HAS BEGUN! EVIL FOR JULIE LIVES!

evilforjulie-writer

evilforjulie-reader

(We’re having some minor issues getting the Paypal account accepted, but we’ll deal with that in the morning. For right now, it’s credit cards. No worries! We have the whole month!) We’re good now! Carry on!

I’m going to shamelessly copy and paste from the Indiegogo Campaign Description here:

Why We Need Your Evil Help
On Sunday March 23, Julie Butcher’s husband had an accident around the home involving a chainsaw and his leg a grizzly bear that he fought off with his bare hands*.

Mr. Julie is, thankfully, fine. But this is a family with six kids now facing skyrocketing medical costs. Costs WE can help with. If everyone gives a little, it can add up to a lot. This, obviously, seems like a job for the Evil League of Evil Writers to do some fundraising.

*It was a chainsaw but apparently fighting grizzly bears sounds less embarrassing.

What We Need & What You Get
In a nutshell, we need money.

Well, Julie and her mister do: he’s already had a couple of surgeries, and a nurse is required for home visits to help. End of the world insurance is covering some costs but not all, and this is a very large family facing a sudden influx of extra expenses.

We at the Evil League of Evil Writers aren’t big on handouts; we want your assistance, but we want to offer you stuff in exchange for it.

Note: There are two campaigns – the Reader Edition and the Writer Edition. Each has different perks based on if something would apply to a reader or a writer. Because if you’re not a writer, what would you do with a 50 page critique of a manuscript? I mean, there’s no stopping you from donating for that perk if that’s what you want to do, but…hey, your eccentricities are your business!

All of the money–less the fees from Indiegogo and PayPal–go directly to Julie and her family, and will help with medical and living costs during this difficult time. We picked $3500 as a goal for the reader campaign and $1500 for the other to hit $5000 total as that was what we managed to raise for last year’s fundraiser, but it is in no way final. If more comes in, all will be able to be put to use by the family.

Who Is Julie?
Julie Butcher lives with her husband and six children on the fringes of Utter Chaos. The sister of #1 New York Times bestselling author Jim Butcher, who she adores, she writes because her sister-in-law said it was time to learn, and Julie doesn’t argue with women who own guns. Her super-powers involve sugar and ninjas and will be revealed on a need-to-know basis.

She is a contributor to BuzzyMag.com and huge supporter of the writing community. When not writing, she’s inspiring others by volunteering at a local food pantry.

Seriously, you guys, Julie is so much more awesome than the rest of us, but now is your chance to be almost as cool yourself and help out.

What’s This About Evil?
This fundraiser was started by the Evil League of Evil Writers to support our beloved Senior Pie Coordinator and Clubhouse Keeper during a time of need. It is our second large-scale fundraiser as a group, the previous being 2013’s Evil for Crestline Auction.
Everything we do is evil, including online fundraising.

Aren’t Charitable Endeavors Inherently Good?
Of course not. Have you MET Julie Butcher? The woman is capable of the most terrifying Scary Mom Eyes known to humankind. She is pure evil, and the less she worries about money right now, the more time she has to continue terrorizing writers with her eviltry.

Also, by supporting Julie’s family, it might make them cry happy tears. Making people cry is of course evil.

As a friend said, when the universe kicks one of us, we kick back twice as hard. And we invite you to be bad guys and kick back with us.

Other Ways You Can Help
If you can’t give money, and robbing a bank is still illegal where you live, please help get the word out the fundraiser. Tweet, Pin, Facebook, Tumbl, blog, skywrite, sacrifice virgins to the dark ones in order to boost the campaign power: whatever it takes.

ABOUT THE PERKS:
The response to this fundraiser has been beyond our wildest expectations, with over 100 donations and counting. Indiegogo only allows us to offer twenty at a time, so don’t be surprised if you don’t see yours offered. Once a perk is taken, we’ll replace it with another. This fundraiser is going throughout the month of April, so it might be a little bit before it’s up for grabs. Stay tuned!

You can also follow the Evil League of Evil Writers for updates on the campaign. We’ll be talking about it a lot during the next month, as these campaigns go through the 30th:

Blog (Here’s an awesome page about the fundraisers)
Twitter (we’ll be using the hashtag #evilforjulie if you want to follow that)
Facebook

So there you have it! Now go! Go and be evil! Bring the pain! Make it rain with their tears! BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!

evil laugh gif Tom

The Evil Auction – Call To Arms

Remember that Signal Boost I posted yesterday, about the school fire in Vancouver, WA? Well, the Evil League of Evil Writers is up to its usual no good, and we’re being bad guys.

My friend and ELEW colleague Seleste deLaney has some details up on her blog about what eviltry we at the ELEW are getting up to.

To sum up for those who don’t want to clicky the linky, I want your firstborn child.

No, not really. Keep your spawn to yourself, thanks. If you give them to me I’ll sell them into slavery or eat them for breakfast, because that’s how I roll.

What I really want are donation items for the Evil Auction we’re plotting. We’ve gotten some awesome, AWESOME donation items already, and this is going to be a great auction! Still, more can’t hurt!

ETA: The auction is now live, but we’re STILL taking donations! There’s going to be a second round of items going up, so don’t feel like you missed it!

I’m totally stealing what Seleste says on her blog, because it’s exactly what I want to say:

We’re organizing a fundraising auction to help Crestline Elementary. We’re looking for donations of time [from authors] (in the form of critiques, mentorships, and phone calls) as well as items (signed books, swag baskets, knitted goods, jewelry…whatever skill you have that you’re willing to ship) to auction off.

A lot of times, auctions are used to get your name out and spread your brand. This isn’t about that. This is about giving hope back to a bunch of kids, parents, and teachers who are probably feeling a little hopeless right now. It’s not about you or us… it’s about them.

In the spirit of that, if you have something to donate for the auction, please contact the wonderful ladies who lead our group on a daily basis:

Skyla Dawn Cameron at skyladawncameron [at] gmail [dot] com
and/or
Dina James at dina [at] dinajames [dot] com

[DINA’S NOTE: Please CC us both if you mail us, so we can keep things straight, thank you!]

If you don’t have something to donate, please come back and bid or help spread the word. If you want to donate to the school immediately there were details about that in Lilith’s post.

Now, you don’t have to be a writer to donate items. I’m looking for anything to auction! If you make jewelry and want to offer an item, awesome, I’ll take it! A musician? I’ll take a CD. An artist? I’ll take a print or an original! A crafter? Crochet, knit or embroider something! Anything will help. We’ll even let you set the opening bid/reserve if you want, or you can leave it up to us to price accordingly.

WHAT WE DON’T WANT:

1) Used commercially-made items. This is an auction, not a yard sale or thrift store. Unless it’s a used, signed book or rare vinyl album or something. Then we’ll take that. But we don’t want clothes your kid outgrew you’re looking to get rid of or a set of half-dry markers. We really want things you make yourself.

2) Anyone looking to donate things just to promote themselves. The ELEW reserves the right to decline any offer or donated item for any reason, but especially if your offer is complete crap designed only to promote yourself. (I’m looking at you, Certain Self-Pubbed Author. Just keep walkin’ Preacher Man.) While we’re happy to link your donation to your website, etc., this auction isn’t about self-promo. This is about helping a community with a tragedy.

In addition to the above, we’re looking for items people will actually want to bid on, and we’re not going to embarrass our Evil Organization by associating it with your bullshit self-promo item no one will bother touching. Mostly because we don’t want to hear the butt-hurt whinging when no one bids on your shit. We’re looking for donations from legitimate writers/musicians/artists/craftspeople only, and by “legitimate” I mean “people who do this for work/get paid to do it.” Or, in less-polite terms, if you’re self-published, we’re not going to be your platform, don’t bother, the answer is no, go away. Yes, this is totally discriminatory and evil and whatnot, but maybe you missed the part where we’re an EVIL LEAGUE OF EVIL WRITERS and this is AN EVIL AUCTION. We can discriminate however we want, and will do so with extreme prejudice. Again, this auction is NOT about self-promo.

Now, what do you get in return for your donation?

1) Good karma
2) A little exposure on the auction site (this is more a side-effect than an intentional thing, as this isn’t about self-promo, remember)
3) The eternal gratitude of the ELEW and the Evergreen School District

When the auction site is ready to go live (and believe me, we’re working furiously on it), I’ll post a link so you can see the shiny pretty. We’re hoping to do that by the end of the week. This kind of thing isn’t easy or fast, but we’re doing what we can to get it off the ground, starting with things like this.

There’s lots going on with this auction, and there’s a lot more eviltry on the way. Even if you can’t donate, a signal boost on any of your social media will help. Donating to the school directly will also be a huge help. (Be sure and select “Crestline Elementary” from the “Select Fund For Donation” dropdown. Save your receipt, too, as there may be eviltry involved just for that!)

Thank you all to those who have already contributed to this and other fundraisers benefitting Crestline Elementary School, and to those who intend to.

That’s all for now. More as it develops.