The De-Gothening Part Trois

Part Un here. Part Deux here.

*sigh* It continues. I am…there are too many words for what I am. Most of them to do with horror and disgust. And profanity. Lots and lots of profanity.

However, in between all the disgust and horror and profanity, I have learned something. Well, a few things, actually, but the one I want to talk about here is kind of neat.

Now, most of you who know me know I have a deep and abiding loathing of the Hot Season. I live for September. I despise the heat and sun and tourists and light-entirely-too-late-at-night and the neighborhood hellions out of school lighting things on fire…yeah. There is NOTHING about the summer months that appeals to me. I absolutely DREAD the changing of the seasons, starting with Spring. Suffice to say, I am NOT A FAN of the warmer months of the year. You get it.

But this year? This year I’ve been too damned busy to dread. This year I’m more horrified that the year is already half over than lamenting that my beloved September is a scant twelve weeks away. TWELVE. I wanted to have this house on the market LAST MONTH. MAY. It’s already TEN DAYS INTO JUNE and I’m nowhere near ready to list. At this point I’m aiming for July, so I can have at least a couple weeks of summer for it to be on the market (because summer = tourists who love it here so much they want to move here, not knowing we get rain ten months out of the year, BWAH-HA-HA!). But July is only THREE WEEKS AWAY. THREE.

Badass Me: No problem. We just have to do this, and this, and this, and that….
Rational Me: Are you crazy? All that in three weeks? You’re delusional….
Badass Me: *pfft* You’re the one whose crazy! This is nothing! Look at how much we’ve done already!
Rational Me: Look at all that’s left! Here. In case you’ve forgotten, here’s a bloody schematic!


Badass Me: You forgot to check off the kitchen*. That’s done now. *gets marker*
Rational Me: 90% done. We still need to go through the cabinets and get rid of stuff we don’t use or want.
Badass Me: That will take what? All of two seconds? You’re just a lazy bitch.
Rational Me: Remember you called me that when we get to the utility room. Plus there’s still the outside painting to get to.
Badass Me: *fleeting look of trepidation*
Rational Me: *smug smirk*
Badass Me: *checks off the kitchen and smirks in return* We can do it if you don’t sit on your ass binge-watching Orange Is The New Black.
Rational Me: Shut up!


* I know I said the foyer was up next, but stuff and things happened and the kitchen was easier because it’s smaller. Now I have obtained an off-site storage unit, the foyer is scheduled for execution. Probably this weekend. We’ll see.

I know, I know. Pics or it didn’t happen. Very well. (Note: We’re leaving the kitchen white, because reasons.)

Here we have the before picture, featuring the horrid, horrid old paint and an ill-advised (and only ever partially completed) attempt at a chili pepper stencil around the dropped edge of the ceiling. (Don’t ask…when we bought the house oh-so-many-years-ago I hadn’t come out of my Goth closet and the kitchen had a chili pepper motif. I SAID DON’T ASK. Move along…that’s it…nothing to see here….)

Oh, thank fuck. That’s gone now.

Amazing what one little coat of paint can do.

Ta-da! Kitchen done.

There’s a lot more work here than you see in the pictures. Lots of taping and draping, and that geometric whats-its there was a bloody nightmare to paint, not to mention all the trim. All of that really needs a third coat, but we were pretty much done in by the time we got the second coat on that we called it for now. Besides, it’s not like we’re not going to be painting again soon. We’ll throw on a third coat over the trim and window sill and that whats-its when we get around to the dining area. (That’s the red wall you see behind the whats-its. I’ve been using the whats-its to hold random things, like candles and shinies.)

Three weeks my ass, Badass Me. You’re fucking delusional. Six, maybe. We’ll see.