Yeah, Yeah

I think I like this “Five Things Make A Post” thing, so let’s do it again, shall we?

1. Depression – So, I haven’t exactly been what could be called “clinically depressed”. I’ve been more…apathetic. Morose. All right, let’s call it what it is – I’ve been lazy. Well, no, not really that, either. To quote Office Space, “It’s not that I’m lazy; it’s that I just don’t care.”

I think that’s called “apathy”, right? Yeah. Anyway. What’s been going on with me lately to make me depressed/apathetic? Nothing really. Just…one of those moods. I think part of it has to do with the weather. It’s getting all sunny and summery and normally you’d think this would make people happy.

But I’m not normal now, am I?

Despite having grown up in sunny Arizona and a desert-dweller by nature, summer is the most annoying season for me. I don’t like the tourists or the humidity here in Oregon, and the sun here is just that when it comes out. Sun. Light. Sunlight. It’s just there, without any of the Arizona warmth/bake-into-your-bones heat behind it. Here the sun (when it comes out) is just annoying.

Weather aside, I’ve just been phenomenally apathetic about most things, preferring to read, play online games and watch my Netflix than do anything resembling my writing.

“Loss of interest in pleasurable activities” is a sign of depression, right? Well…there you go.

Though I wouldn’t say I’ve “lost interest” in my writing. I’m still interested. I still have ideas and outlines and plans. I’m just…on a staycation, I guess. My characters too. They’re all just sitting around, doing what they like to do best when they’re not dictating to me.

Anyway. So yeah. I’ve been – whatever. Let’s call it “anti-social”. That’s a good, all-purpose word for how I’ve been behaving lately. I’m hiding from the world and haven’t want to talk to anyone, in this world or my own little one. So there. This is slowly changing, but we’ll see. I mean, I’m blogging, right?

2. #Dietgame – Yeeeeeeeeaaaaah…. Um. Well. Okay, I’ll be honest here. My apathy of the first item up there? Yeah. That’s included #dietgame. I admit to being wholly discouraged the other week when I weighed myself and the number wasn’t as low as I wanted it to be despite hard work and “being good”, so I went totally defiant and just said “screw this”. And um…it kind of…screwed it. I’m back on the horse today after about two weeks of being completely uncaring about anything I put in my mouth (Look, I have a not-so-secret addiction to French fries, all right? Usually I make them at home, but sometimes a girl just needs drive-thru French fries!).

The point here? I’ve put on weight. Like…I’m not only back to where I started 9 weeks ago, but I added a couple more pounds on top of it. Yeah. I totally screwed any progress I’d made. I kind of feel bad about that now, which means I’m coming out of the whole apathy/”I don’t care, screw it” thing. I don’t beat myself up for my learning experiences (I don’t make mistakes – I have “learning experiences”), because there’s no point in lamenting what has already been done. Just don’t do it again and go from where you were. I can’t go back and not do what I did to my diet. All I can do now is say, “well, that was dumb” and make better choices from now on.

This is not to say I’m not going to backslide or ignore the drive-thru every time it calls my name. I’ll just ignore it most of the time. If you ignore what your body wants all the time, you just make it unhappy, and then it does evil things in retaliation. At least mine does.

So yeah. That’s where I’m at. I’ve gained three pounds in the last two weeks. Let’s not do that again, huh?

3. Furbrats – Little Ill Cat (Jinx the cat with chronic renal failure, aka “kidney failure”) had her blood test last week and is holding steady. We’re really glad for this. There was a minor change in her kidney enzyme levels, but that’s to be expected in a cat with her condition. She’s doubled her weight since she got so sick last year (and for her, gaining weight is a GOOD thing!), and is doing well. Evil Bitch Cat (Punky) got her geriatric exam at the same time (because she’ll be 10 here in a couple months and she’s been acting a little weird) and came back with flying colors – with one exception. She had a little bladder infection, so it’s been fun giving her orange antibiotic drops every evening. And by “fun” I mean I get to play “How many scratches did I get tonight?”.

Oh well. It’s at least reassuring that her weirdness is just her being a freak and not anything actually physically wrong with her. The vet says she’s just “mellowing in her old age”.

I think the Evil Bitch is being strange just to freak me out because she hates me. No, I’m serious. This cat hates me. And everyone else except her Daddy. There’s a big red flag on her chart at the vet’s office as a warning to everyone that she’s a monster in cat’s fur. A healthy monster, though, so she’ll be around to torment and terrorize everyone for another ten years or so. Or so the vet says.

Joy of joys.

4. Travel – Had a wonderful lunch in Portland with a fellow writer and my agent and my agent’s brother. That was awesome and fun and I enjoyed it despite the long drive for me on a two-lane highway for the majority of the way. I try to get into Portland at least once a month or so because they have Powell’s and Jake’s, and I love them both intensely. Had a great time being all writerly and hanging out. Great drive there and back with the weather behaving for once.

5. News about Writing – I…really don’t have any. I may here shortly, but for now, I honestly have nothing to share on the writing front. I’m working on a couple projects, but nothing slated for publication just yet. The good news is, my agent likes my idea and wants to see the project when it’s readable, but other than that, I really don’t have anything more for you just yet, and rather than wait until I do have something to share, I give you this post.

Which pretty much just said “I’m fat, lazy, and have nothing to report.”

I suppose I could have just said it that way and saved a little over 1000 words. Oh, well.